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My Unassisted Birth Baby

After another two not very nice hospital births and the vulvodynia as chronic as ever, I lost my faith in my body and in childbirth. It was something I feared and hated.

So much so I asked for a caesarean with my fourth child, with no medical reason. The obstetrician agreed. He said it was a woman's choice how she gave birth. So I was booked in for a C section. My husband was worried and talked to me about the scar and the pain I'd go through and thought I may not heal, so I listened to him and decided to cancel my caesarean and opted for induced birth so I could 'control' it. I really did not want to give birth.

The date of 3rd July 2002 was given to me as my labour day. She wasn't actually due until the next week but they had to book me in early so I wouldn't start labour naturally.

My daughter had other ideas! Obviously she'd heard the word 'induction' from the watery depths of my womb and decided there was no way she was going to be born like that.

The day before I was to be admitted to hospital, I felt sick and thought I was getting food poisoning from a shop bought sandwich that I had just eaten. I mentioned it to my husband who told me to go and lie down and said he wanted to go and buy shelving units. So I did as he suggested. I went to bed to sleep it off while he went to B+Q!

2 hours later I awoke to a contraction and the feeling that I needed to go to the toilet. I went and sat on the toilet but nothing would happen, so frustrated, I went downstairs. I then had another contraction so I realised it may be labour. I telephoned my husband who was still shopping and he told me to time them and call him again if it was regular. I got another 3 on top of each other so I crawled around the floor which was the most comfortable position.

Then I suddenly felt the baby's head pressing on my back passage and my waters ruptured. I phoned my husband again and told him I was going to have the baby right now. He just laughed at me.

Two pushes and the head was out with no pain whatsoever. I was still on the phone to him and told him calmly that the head was born. He erupted into panic, and shouted 'Oh My God!' over and over again. Then I told him I had to hang up because I had to give birth.
He said
'Give birth and then phone me back!'
It sounds funny, but it's honestly what he said.
So I did.
The baby just tumbled out of me onto the rug. I picked her up and cradled her in my arms, and then phoned back to tell him he was a daddy again!
The time from first contraction to birth? 25 minutes.

And no. It never occured to me to call a midwife. I just wanted my husband. Well, you do, don't you? Any woman would rather have someone there they loved instead of a clinical stranger.

It was exilarating. I bonded with her without anyone prodding me or taking her away to be weighed, and she stayed attached to me via the cord until the midwife arrived one hour later. I felt primal, sexual, my faith in my body and in birth and being a woman was restored.

I knew if I ever had another baby, I'd never go near a hospital again.

Alicia aged 2